BEHIND THE (SHEET) MASK

Hello, you gorgeous people! I’m so glad you’re here. I’d like to do a little intro about who on earth I am so you can see —behind the screen— (just kidding I’m going to be posting a lot about myself along with many, many selfies until you’re sick of my face). Some facts that I find fun about myself: I majored in Opera! Lucrative, yes? An easy job market to enter, yes? Very interesting to listen to and even more interesting to sing when you’d rather be playing with beauty products, yes? NO! About a year after starting Conservatory (a fabulously douchey way of saying Music College) I knew this was not my game to play. I kind of tapped out and chose to focus my energy on taking my prescribed Adderall, watching The Office on an endless loop, painting my nails, and online shopping for clothes and (you guessed it) beauty products galore.

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Cut to: the beginning of my sophomore year. I went blonde, got very unhealthily thin, moved into a huge, beautiful, overpriced apartment that I lived in alone on my extremely generous parent’s dime, and got into an extremely toxic relationship. So you could say I was thriving! Not really, but who cares?! I was the only one in my class who lived off-campus! I threw all the parties! Everyone wanted to be my best friend (aka come to my house, do their cocaine, spill their cocaine, trash my place, and steal my pills). Fact: jazz musicians love talking about coke almost as much as they love snorting it…or more likely being too fucked up to snort it and spilling it all on my beautiful, expensive, parental-paid-for floors. I swear I’ve cleaned up more spilt cocaine than a custodian in a Dubai nightclub. But I digress.

I coasted through the rest of school (see aforementioned amphetamine use) and graduated with a 3.9 GPA, a new nose, my sweet baby angel puppy Scarlett whose life I cherish more than my own, a degree in Opera, and a radioactive toxicity from “friendships” and my “relationship” I’d cultivated with people I thought were good for me, that I swear people could see from a mile away.

At the end of the day I was an exquisitely spoiled brat with a huge sense of entitlement, a few incredible friends who (thank god) stuck with me throughout my bullshit, that shit boyfriend (who I did break up with after a short stint living together in absolute misery), and a newfound deadness inside when I realized I had in no way prepared myself for the real world in any way at all.


I took the first corporate sell-out job I found which paid me a TON of (blood) money, and spent all day cold-calling people who would rather be either giving or receiving a root canal than speaking to me. Then I’d go home, pour a glass of wine, snuggle with Scarlett (who has saved my sanity many, many times, and hate my life. Then I got to wake up and do it all over again! I lasted eight months. For some reason I just couldn’t find my hour commute to a job I loathed very interesting. Also I was working in corporate sales and account management, which, if you haven’t: don’t. I don’t care who you are: these jobs are fucking boring and you are better than that.

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I left to pursue my dreams and immediately became a famous skincare blogger and now I party with Madonna. Just kidding! I took another horrifying sales job! What can I say? My parents had cut me off (rightfully so) and I didn’t think I could live without a whole buncha money. This job was worse. I won’t go into the gory details about being the only woman in an otherwise all-male workplace. At last I learned that I clearly was not a corporate sales lifestyle kinda girl. In the midst of all of this I had also somehow moved to Brooklyn to “get away from it all” (“it all” being my beloved Manhattan) and by the time I came to this realization I was living in a duplex in Bushwick with six (SIX) other people. My short take on Brooklyn: there are many people who love it. I am not one of those people. I no longer step foot in that borough.

If you’re still reading this: 1. God bless your patience, and 2. Here’s the point you’ve all been waiting for! I decided that, for the first time in my life, if money could buy happiness (which it absolutely can), you still need to be in the proper headspace to turn that money into happiness. I quit my job. I started seeing an amazing therapist. I left my shitty living situation. I started taking photos on Instagram and writing silly captions about what I was putting on my face/hair/body as a creative outlet. Life started turning around. If you couldn’t tell from this post, I have no problem being honest if it can help someone, anyone, else avoid the pitfalls that I fell face-first into. I spared no detail and people seemed to actually like what I had to say! Seriously! They wrote to me and told me so! I started posting more, reading more, writing more, learning more, and eventually creating this very website you’re on!

I’ve met countless incredible people through the weird rabbit-hole that is Instagram. I’ve worked with amazing brands who are looking to make a difference. I met the love of my life. That last part doesn’t have anything to do with my career choices or why I started this blog, I just wanted to talk about it. Hi, Ben!

Here’s the thing: life still isn’t perfect. Changing your quality of life is a slow crawl (but anything actually worth doing should take a lot of time and even more effort). I’m still poor and it totally sucks! I still struggle with my mental health on the daily. But I’m in a non-toxic environment surrounded by people who love and support me, and who actually believe in me. My point is this: if you’re unhappy—take a second to ask yourself why. Maybe you’re just having a strain of bad days and you should look into making small changes: meditating, seeing a therapist, changing your commute. Or maybe you’re walking down the wrong path, which is scary, but the sooner you realize it, the sooner you can begin to turn around and walk down the right one.

Making the choice to change your life is scary as fuck but it beats the hell out of working somewhere you can’t stand, somewhere you aren’t respected, or somewhere you spend your days pushing a product or platform you simply don’t believe in. Find what you love to do, no matter how long it takes you to find what it is, and give yourself a shot. This blog is a result of the shot I gave myself. Believe it or not its content is actually about skincare, beauty, haircare, and, most importantly, self-care.

So for the love of god let’s get started, yeah?